Sunday, 17 January 2010


The Boom-town Rats definately should have made that christ awful song about Sundays instead of Mondays. Sundays by far are the most boring day ever. I'm even tempted to do some work. I might do some art in my sketchpad instead though, if Nan doesn't mind me making a mess again.

Yesterday was a nice change, it was a good surprise not to have to go into work! & I definately think seeing Emma and Ged cheered me up loads, even if we do all pick on each other. I love the way the three of us just bully one another but if one of us needs a shoulder to lean on or something, we're all the first there to offer one.

I've still not heard from Cath Kidston. I was cheeky though and gave a CV into the store as well as the online app. We'll see! I'm still mulling over Matt's offer. More hours and money would not go amiss whatsoever; I'd be able to pay jmu off without worrying, to give my Nan money without being short and to get out of my overdraft, as well as have so much more of my time actually be my own.

However, I'd have a much more important role in his company which would terrify me if I made mistakes, cause so much more would depend on me and I wouldn't want to somehow render all the hard work he's put in, useless. I hate talking to strangers on the phone, too. Especially if I've no idea about or interest in what it's about. Don't get me wrong, I'm interested in his business, I hope it works out really incredibly well for him and I'm so proud he's done so well already, but as far as taking a personal interest in it goes, it all goes over my head. I actually don't understand most of it, which is why the work I do for him at the minute is far better suited to me. Another downside if I accept the offer, would be I'd be working from home. Everyone goes 'ahh I wish I could do that!' whenever they ask what I do, but seriously, I've never spent so much time indoors in my life :| I'd slowly but surely go stir crazy. I need to give it all a serious think.

Very serious think.

I definately do not take kindly to being rang at half four in the morning and then ignored, either. Irritation.

Also, completely off topic. Contemplating dying my hair a darker red? Maybe. If I find a good shade I'll do that again, I liked it last time. None of this pillarbox red though, I'm not that brave!

Thursday, 14 January 2010


i wish that had worked out differently. i hate my inability to stay unattached.
if i could handle unattached, i'd be more patient, who knows how it would have gone?
but no.

it might be for the best but that doesn't mean i'm impressed about it.

maybe cath kidston will cheer me up. cross fingers. i wonder why i have such a poor sleeping pattern; it's 1.30 and i'm still on this thing. bed time i think.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

it was in the lobby when I set my sights on you

shoulda kissed you in the elevator,
but I was too scared to
it was in the morning when I made up my mind
i want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time

do I have to spell it out for you
or scream it in your face?
oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place
do I have to spell it out for you
or whisper in your ear?
oh, just stop right there
i think that we've got something here

we were all alone when I finally made a pass at you
it didn't work, and no it never does,
but you know how I do
we were on the phone when I made up my mind
i want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time

do I have to spell it out for you
or scream it in your face?
oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place
do I have to spell it out for you
or whisper in your ear?
oh, just stop right there
i think that we've got something here

I could throttle Emma for pointing bits and bobs out sometimes. I'm the worst at torturing myself.

Thoroughly fed up, workworkwork = yawn. I've been offered a management position, from home, on quite alot a month. I'd probably be stupid to turn it down. But when I'm at home, working from my own pc, I go a bit stirr crazy. This snow has been bad enough, could I really cope with days and days indoors? Though, I'd be able to quit Adams and have my weekends free again, I'd have three day weekends and every evening free. Tempting, tempting. We'll see.

Very thinky mood today. I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing. Is it right to wait for someone? If you think they're worth it? I think they are, but I don't want to get a month down the line and still be waiting to see what happens; I've waited before for a different person and it's hard going. If only things were simple eh!

On the other hand, waiting for someone is no doubt a better idea than going back a couple of steps, isn't it? Oh we'll see.

Monday, 11 January 2010


tension is rubbish.
it creates complications. unwanted complications.

Tuesday, 5 January 2010


So today may equal a thoroughly unproductive day, again. Everyone bar me has revision to do, Matt's sent me no work through and I'm off from Adams. So far, I've slept in later than I should have, played games with Isabella and watched 'This Morning'. Productive, productive. Though Bon Jovi was on my TV and I've taught Isabella to go 'wahhhh' and wave her hands in the air when he's on - so perhaps not a complete waste. This poor child has no chance of being 'normal', especially with me as a big cousin.

It's snowing too - hurrah! I hope it snows so much that every Uni gets cancelled and my friends will be big kids and play out with me. :')

Perhaps I should start writing stories again. I should take a leaf out of Nikki's book - she uses her spare time to write, I waste it thoroughly. Sly.

Sunday, 3 January 2010


There's no need for how badly I want to move to New York or Paris, I've always always loved the idea of the writer/journalist lifestyle; a chic apartment, vintage and modern all at once. Carrie Bradshaw had it going on! A full wardrobe of designer shoes, clothes, chic little tables, cutesy ornaments and cushions, whole walls of shelves covered in books; perfect.

I wish something would inspire me to write again; I used to thoroughly enjoy writing but nowadays I get easily distracted - clearly don't get good enough ideas anymore. I could happily read for months on end and when I do have a good idea, I thoroughly enjoy writing. Perhaps something will come along soon. I can't wait to get back to education, it sounds silly, but I'm actually envious of my friends who have coursework, homework, exams etc. Working two part time jobs, neither of which interest me, bores me so so much. I'm actually excited for the future, for starting my new English Literature course and deciding what I actually want out of life.

I definately want to travel. Definately. Spend six months in Paris, living on fruit, croissant and tea - perfection! ♥! It's one of my favourite places ever. I've not been to New York yet, but I just know it'll rank alongside Paris in my affections. I know it will.

I have so much to get in order this year though, I'll use Paris and New York as my goal. I've set myself several resolutions, whether or not I'll keep them is a different topic or not, but we'll see;

- Drop a dress size & a half again, happy times.
- Get back to university; already done I suppose, but to actually enjoy it this time, to stick at it.
- Start writing again, find inspiration.
- Perhaps practise French again, re-educate myself.
- Fix my ridiculous sleeping pattern.